Choosing can be hard. Choosing against my will is even harder. I feel like I have been in a blind trust walk for a while now, which has been super uncomfortable; however, at this point it's difficult. Uncofortability was formed out of the unknown and charting untouched territory. I couldn't even explain what I was walking through. The faithfulness of God was evident though. Now, and even before the conference the choices made have been deliberate and difficult. Choosing past my emotions, and choosing to trust God. Maybe... probably, I am making them more difficult on myself...but it's a matter of choosing the truth in these daily decisions. Choosing to listen to the word and not the world. Choosing to believe He has better plans for me. Choosing to believe the best in myself. Choosing the right attitude, thoughts, etc. Choosing to make good practical choices with mind, body, spirit and emotions (the biggie!).

Anyways, even in this choice, God has been very clear in this "place" that I am in. Even though I feel like I am walking in the dark, He has given me vision and a rope to hold onto. From word to word, He's placed the tools in my hands to hold onto while He takes me over mountains and valleys. "Breathe, sqeeze tight and don't look down," I constantly reiderate in my head. Ha, definitely was holding on for dear life at the women's conference. I was a blank slate, but somehow was able to speak at 2 workshops in a row. Yes, that I call a God moment. These moments were continuous throughout the weekend, but choosing to push was deliberate.  

"Do not be discouraged." God spoke that to Joshua right before they crossed over into their promiseland. The "least of these" fufilled the promises that surrounded that word. So I take it...not to be discouraged because God is going to do GREAT things in these times...and through me. I've begun to see this, and will hold on until I get to destination ;)  

Deut. 11:10-15 <<< my transition, cross-over, and promise!

Hello my dear friends.
I've been craving to write but it has taken me until now to begin. I'm sitting here trying to think of where to begin. Maybe with the fact that it has felt like my head has been a little loose lately. I have been so absent minded, it's ridiculous. From leaving my keys places to reading the clock wrong. I will say though that I get this way when I am tired, but this was at another level...lol...anyways, that's my little bit about that.

I love coming on here and sharing what's on my heart. So for the sake of it, I will continue with the tradition....

All my life, as crazy and spontaneous as I am, I still have tried to control so many aspects of my life. It's funny when you realize that you never really controlled anything, you just feared, and didn't let go. Well, it is so completely freeing and weightless to finally let go, YET sooo completely vulnerable. I remember about a year or 2 ago when the Lord began speaking to me about being vulnerable.

It's amazing...so amazing to read the word and see His plans for us. He connects every litte thing and directs us. We could NEVER create what he has created for us. His goodness follows us all the days of our life, and even still, the best is YET to come. We may not see the results now we desire to see, and we may not feel the way we think we should, but if ONE thing I have really experienced is...my Father is faithful.

Last year was full of hard times and I think it was like that for a lot of people; however, through that I have really seen the faithfulness of God. I have seen the results of prayers...and because of hardship I can say I have a deeper walk with the Lord, I have a desire to seek Him more, I have experienced the love and provision of my Father, I have vision, purpose and passion...and most of all I have joy; I enjoy life.

Romans 5:2 (message) says, "We throw open our doors to God and discover at that same moment he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand -- out in the wide open spaces of Gods grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise."

It's amazing what we discover when we just open our doors. Opening your doors (vulnerability) expands your mind and spirit. We never expect the journey, yet when we open the doors we see He's been anticipating that very moment to let you in. We are taken out of a box, and given a wide open space..that is filled with grace and glory.

Opening up can be like, "ok now what do I do?"....but when I read that scripture I couldn't help but think of kids running around playing in a huge field. I think that's what we should be like -- light hearted and childlike. Letting go of all worries, and just being free. God has given us the authority to open and close doors that no man can close or open (Isaiah 22:22). Some of us need to open the door to Godin certain areas in our lives and just let him in.  It's all about Him anyways - His perfect love casts out all fear.

You know what I find so amazing about this scripture? It says, "We find ourselves standing where we alwas hoped we might stand." Wow...He gives us our hopes in the process. Opening the door and taking that risk leads to fufilling our hopes, and seeing faith's results. "Those who delight themselves in the Lord, He will give them the desires of their heart."

This may be more of a rant then revelation to you. It's definitely where I am in this moment..It's vulnerable to let go and trust His plans, but He is a good God and Father who's thoughts are higher than ours. He wants to do things beyond our imagination, but we have to go beyond ourselves..to let go and can let God be God. His grace is sufficient for you and me.

Thank you Jesus.